Dear Mrs Hester

Goodwin Makes Unwanted List

Wall Street Journal, 31 January 2012

Mrs Hester,

            dearest Mater, it shames this loyal

and proud servant of the Royal Bank

of Scotland to be mindful of the forty-eight

percent your shares have fallen on my watch,

and, I must be frank, to further disappoint

you, Mother dearest, by admission of a forced

change to our holiday itinerary. What

with the Prime Minister's leaning on

the committee of remuneration, and

the Daily Mail's unholy lunge to the left

inciting the envious moaners to noisy dissent,

I was forced to forfeit a sizable deposit

on that new and larger yacht and may even

have to cancel the jet. Lord it's hard being

poor, the injustice of it stings, like tequila.

Good heavens I’ve done my bit for the ailing gal:

she was barely breathing, her vitals failing, when

I took the helm, and who knows she might

break even yet, with luck and a following wind.

Didn't I cut the waste of thirty thousand jobs?

Didn't I lay to rest the entire investment

banking arm? Believe me, Mother, I've tried.

But the ghost of Sir Fred chides me,

he chides me, from the empty trading floor.

So, Mrs Hester,

            we will have to tighten our belts,

Barbados is out of the question, but I've heard

that Devon is nice, at least in August.

Do you by any chance know where it is?

Well anyway, please excuse this hasty

scribbled note and tip my driver well

(but not too well), there's much still needs

be done here on the bridge; I'll not be home

before seven.

Your loving son,

Stephen.

X

(c) 2012 Slush Poet