The Year of Wringing Hands

Navy fires 21-gun Jubilee salute

Littlehampton Gazette, 6 February 2012

Nicholas Witchell’s on TV

telling a story I already knew

mattered less than an ant’s fart to me.

Cut to Pathé newsreel, cue

the fawning bishop of Durham, then trail

any one of the relentless slew

of documentaries planned, a gale

blown out of the butts of also rans —

Lord Archer, if he’s not in jail,

the James Whitakers, the Jennie Bonds,

and of course, old Nick himself — and so

begins a year of wringing hands

and concerts headlined by Status Quo.

(c) 2012 Slush Poet