Archbishop of Canterbury's resignation sparks speculation over successor
The Guardian, 17 March 2012
Bearded men in crimson frock coats
shuffle along in orderly lines that
might be mistaken for processions
were their rivalries better disguised.
Not for the first time they sign away their
arses, swearing oaths of allegiance
to Simon Cowell, Lloyd Webber, Lord Sugar
in bile-inducing VT bios.
First the medicals: cold hands cradle
withered private members, beards fool
no one, women must be rooted
out before round one commences.
Auditions get the party jumping.
The most effete contestants stumble
never to see boot camp, judges’
houses or the prime time live rounds.
Palms get greased and fists get bruised,
reputations made and spoiled,
careless oaths and foolish ruses
aired on live TV. And all the
while we watch as in slow motion
a replacement Santa Clause is chosen.
(c) 2012 Slush Poet
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