From just outside Jarrow there came a seafarer
who set out to sea in a rusting wheelbarrow;
leaving naught to chance, with a Michelin guide
and sextant in hand he set sail for France.
Upon reaching land the mayor of Boulogne
turned out to greet him with a military band
and I’ve heard it said he was held shoulder high,
hailed as a hero despite being dead.
Now I feel inclined to attest for the record
that there’s none so stout as men raised by the Tyne
for when it occurred that the sea took it’s toll
he expired in silence not saying a word.
(c) 2013 Andy Hickmott
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